These days finding a relationship can feel like the equivalent of looking for a magic carpet ride with Aladdin. We are in the dating era of the commitment phobe and situationships. What is a “situationship” you ask? A situationship is a pseudo-relationship. It may kind of feel like a relationship and kind of look like a relationship but it’s not. There are no titles, no questions, and no commitment.
Dating these days can be disheartening. You meet someone you vibe with, you start dating. Then over dinner he wipes the smile right off your face by casually mentioning: “I’m not looking for anything serious.” This type of guy lulls you into a false sense of security by initially showering you with attention, then pulling the red carpet out from beneath your feet. He enjoys the traditional courting rituals and benefits of a relationship (dates, attention, sex etc.). He also partakes in single activities such as seeing other people, partying, and not having a girlfriend nagging him about any of it.
Then there’s the infamous “Netflix and chill” guy. He’s the nice guy you met at a concert, he disappears for a while and one day he resurfaces by texting you: “Can I come over and chill?” He is the ultimate creep trying to bypass the getting to know you phase and hop straight into the sack. You could be mad at him but this shameless technique has probably been successful for him on plenty of low-self-esteem chicks. Ironically both of these guys assume all women are desperate to be in a relationship with them. This is probably because some women end up in situations and think they can use Jedi mind tricks to make into relationships. This is the easiest way to make yourself look crazy in these streets.
Men alone can’t be blamed for this dire dating scene. If more women refused to accept these terms more guys would have to step their game up. (More on this later in future posts.) Dating is supposed to be fun. The possibility of “is he/she the one?” is exciting. With that possibility taken away it becomes pointless. In order to find anything genuine you have to put yourself out there and the emotionally unavailable just don’t have that kind of heart. For all my genuine women and men stay hopeful my soldiers of love. We will win the war.